|Many years ago a young couple with three sons bought a house in California out in the country. The previous owner, who spoke only Spanish, said something that made the couple think that gold could be found on the property. They told their sons, who began digging up the ground looking for wealth.After a few weeks much of the ground around the house had been turned over, and with no gold found, the father decided to plant some seeds: corn, tomatoes, potatoes, and onions. With his sons’ help, he grew so much that he went on to open a roadside stand to sell the extra produce for a little additional money.The boys kept digging, turning over the soil as they went deeper and deeper, allowing the couple to plant even more crops.This went on for several years. The vegetable stand prospered, and soon the couple had enough money to send all of their children to college.One day the original owner came by for a visit. He’d learned English, and he asked the couple how they’d gotten started in the vegetable business. When the husband reminded him about the gold, the first owner laughed.“I didn’t say there was gold in the soil,” he explained. “I said the soil was very rich.”And as things turned out, it was.It’s interesting how a misunderstanding can lead to good fortune, when hard work enters the equation.|
|Play Like You Don’t Know Better|
|What could you achieve if you didn’t place any limitations on yourself? Jazz pianist Art Tatum— called “the eighth wonder of the world” by Count Basie—is a perfect example of a man who knew no boundaries.Though blind, Tatum expressed an interest in the piano as a youngster. He listened to the music of Fats Waller and Lee Sims on the radio for hours, hoping that someday he would be able to perform as well as they did. Of course, that meant he’d have to learn to play, but unfortunately, like many families in the 1920’s, his had few resources to spend on music lessons. As Tatum neared adolescence, he devised his own method for learning the instrument.He persuaded friends to escort him to a local jazz club, where he was given permission to sit at the player piano. As the music played, Tatum kept his fingers hovering lightly over the falling keys, feeling his way through the songs. He practiced late into the night, as often as he could—in spite of his age, his schoolwork, and his part-time job. Learning to play piano in this manner was difficult, but not just because he was blind.What Tatum didn’t realize was that player piano rolls of that era were the result of two pianists playing together. He was learning to play with two hands what normally took four. As a result, he developed an incredible dexterity that enabled him to master the piano.Even though this story starts in the 1920’s, we are still amazed by Art Tatum’s skill and innovation one hundred years later. Art was unaware of his limitations. He did not know he was attempting the impossible; he just did the impossible. If it’s true that “necessity is the mother of invention,” then Art reminds us that not knowing something is sometimes the father of innovation.|
And Change is Not the Same As Failure
I consider myself to be fairly successful in life. I’ve worked hard, I’ve been smart, and I’ve pushed through when the going got tough. I know that success is not always a straight road and that along the way, there can be unexpected changes.
Three months ago, none of us would have guessed the extent to which all our lives have changed and reorganized. I still believe that success occurs when we learn something different and do something different.
Sure, I know that sometimes there are detours… but we need to keep going towards our destination, rather than turning back or quitting. I believe that failing at something is merely a setback, and that failing is not the same as quitting!
You might be familiar with the quote by Thomas Edison, inventor of the light bulb, who said: “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
I think one of the greatest gifts we can give our friends and family members, including children, is the capacity to publicly endure difficult change. They witness our strength to persevere, so they aren’t allowed to quit… and they begin to recognize the capacity for resilience within themselves.
As I look back on the first half of 2020, I am satisfied that I’ve succeeded overall, but recognize that I’ve also failed a few times. I’ve learned things I didn’t know before and am a better person–and a better resource for you.
Rocky Marciano was one of the toughest fighters we have ever seen. He ended his career undefeated, but he didn’t end his career without being hit hard and knocked down. He won 49 fights. He was knocked down twice. He was powerful. He was relentless. He was a dominant force of nature. He was also unpredictable in a sport that demands unpredictability to succeed.
I’m going to be very honest with you: March and April felt a little like fighting Rocky Marciano; it was a bit hard for me. I don’t mind telling you that because I think it is important to admit when things are challenging. The real measure of character is revealed by asking: what do we do when we’re challenged?
Typically, I’d say that I try to rise to the occasion and come up with a plan for how I’m going to forge ahead. However, given the uncertainty we’ve all been feeling, I think that we all need to pause, reflect and get back up.
Why Pause, Reflect and Get Back Up?
For that … we need Rocky Marciano again. After one of his two knockdowns, he said, “I was on my face. I heard the count from one to 10. I kept telling myself that I had to get up, but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t make myself move. It was the strangest feeling.” He paused, he felt the feeling of getting knocked down and then he got back up.
During these last few months, as many of us shifted our lives to working from home, schooling from home, eating at home, playing at home and we started with a plan. Most of those plans changed quickly and then quickly changed again. And then something wonderful happened. We pressed pause and got back up and many of us learned to live in the moment.
We started to improvise, substitute, innovate and adapt. We cooked with ingredients on hand. We stayed home and tried to flatten the curve. Life is noticeably slower in a surprisingly pleasant way.
So, when our opponent is tough, we get tougher and I remember to let my plans go and adapt to become stronger than my opponent, which I realize is often myself. This is what it means to be resilient. And perhaps it is resiliency that is the most important as we get up and continue on.
“As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.” – Maya Angelou
We are living in a time when other people need our help. As demands increase on your time, energy and resources, I’m wondering are you also taking the time to tend to yourself?
“Taking care of myself doesn’t mean ‘me first.’ It means ‘me, too.” – L.R. Knost
Self-care is any activity that we do deliberately in order to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. Although it’s a simple concept in theory, it’s something we very often overlook.
Now more than ever, good self-care is key to improved mood and reduced anxiety. It’s also essential to a good relationship with oneself and others.
Self-care means knowing who you are and having an awareness of your limits.
Self-care means recognizing when you are doing more than you are used to, and trying to figure out the best way to maintain your well-being so you can continue to be a resource for the people you care about.
During times like this, it is important we remain connected with the people who matter most. If there is any way I can help you, please let me know. I will make time to provide my skills and expertise to you in the best way possible. Or we can just connect.
On Valentine’s Day, I wonder how many ways do you have to say, “I Love You”?Here are 11 different ways to say it and build a strong, connected and committed relationship:
- I thank you.
- Please forgive me.
- I trust you.
- Let me help.
- I believe you.
- I forgive you.
- Yes, you’re right.
- I’m so sorry.
- Count on me.
- I understand you.
- Go for it!And of course:
- I love you.Valentine’s Day is the one day of the year that we specifically set aside to celebrate love. Have a beautiful day with all the people you love!Happy Valentine’s Day!
Setbacks are a part of life. The next time you’re facing a setback, here are a few stories about people who used a setback as a set-up for a comeback:Lucille Ball: She began studying to become an actress in 1927 and was told by the head instructor of the John Murray Anderson Drama School, “Try any other profession. Any other profession.”
Clint Eastwood and Burt Reynolds: In 1959, a Universal Pictures executive dismissed them at the same meeting with the following statements. To Burt Reynolds: “You have no talent.” To Clint Eastwood: “You have a chip on your tooth, your Adam’s apple sticks out too far, and you talk too slow.”
Alexander Graham Bell: When he invented the telephone in 1876, it didn’t ring off the hook with calls from potential backers. After making a demonstration call, President Rutherford Hayes said, “That’s an amazing invention, but who would ever want to use one of them?”
Chester Carlson: In the 1940’s, this young inventor took his idea to 20 corporations, including some of the biggest in the country. They all turned him down. In 1947 – after seven long years of rejections – he finally got a tiny company in Rochester, NY, the Haloid Company, to purchase the rights to his electrostatic paper-copying process. Haloid became Xerox corporation, and both it and Carlson became very rich.
Abraham Lincoln: He entered the Blackhawk War (1831-1832) as a captain. By the end of the war, he had been demoted to the rank of private.
J.K. Rowling: Author of the Harry Potter series, Joanne was an aspiring writer and single mother living on welfare with her young daughter in an unheated, mice-infested flat. Her first book was rejected by 12 publishers before the world met Harry Potter in 1997.And then there was the young man who submitted a paper to his Yale University management professor and got this response: “The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a ‘C,’ the idea must be feasible.” The young man was Fred Smith, his paper proposed reliable overnight delivery service, and Fred went on to found FedEx Corp.January is a wonderful time to remember that success, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. We have been irreversibly impacted by each of these people because they knew that failure is not the act of falling down… but it’s staying down…. and that is something they did NOT do!
The image that circulates around Thanksgiving each year typically includes a turkey with all the trimmings, rustic decorations in cheerful autumn hues, and endless desserts to enjoy long past the point of feeling satisfied.
However, whether your family tradition includes a formal table and multiple courses or a casual spread of food with friends and family happily enjoying the day together, the special feeling of this lovely holiday has less to do with how we set the table and more to do with what we cannot see.
We cannot see the anticipatory joy that a faraway family member feels as they leave their house to make the trip over for Thanksgiving day. We cannot see little fingerprints on the cookbooks that are passed down, nor can we see the recipes long committed to memory and taught with guiding hands to the next generation. We cannot see the footsteps of children happily running without a care in the world. We cannot see the laughter at the same stories being told and retold year after year, and we cannot see how that invisible layer of warmth will sustain a lonely parent long after the house is silent.Most of all, we cannot see the thanks that we give although it is near-tangible in its presence, raised up with invisible gratitude.
Thanksgiving is a time for gathering! This year, as friends and family come together, wishing you all the lingering joy, love and laughter. Truly, they are more satisfying than any dish on the table, no matter how much whipped cream is involved.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!
Millennials: Here’s Why the Process is Well Worth It.
Millennials have waited longer than any other generation to become homeowners, but the wait for this cohort is just about over.
According to National Mortgage News,
“Millennials, those young adults now aged 23 to 38, are now entering their peak household formation and homebuying years.”
If you’re a Millennial, you’re already well aware that you’re among a generation of those who favor fast-paced, real-time answers – and results. When you’re ready to make a decision, it’s go-time, and you probably want the latest technology at your fingertips to make it happen.
National Mortgage News agrees, stating,
“Millennials are different than previous generations—not only in their delayed homebuying but also in how they approach interactions with financial institutions, including mortgage lenders. Taking a picture of a check on their phone and depositing it without visiting a branch is not novel, it’s the way Millennials learned to do banking. They expect real-time access to account and transaction data and are frustrated when it’s not available.”
Here’s the catch – the overall speed of the homebuying process can take some time, and it might feel like it is slowing you down. When you’re ready to buy, you can make an offer and go under contract quickly, but the rest of the process might take a little longer. The same article explains why:
“When Millennials apply for a loan, the mortgage lender must qualify the borrower and determine who owns the property, how much the property is worth, and the property’s risk profile. Traditionally, this has been one of the most time-consuming and fragmented parts of the mortgage process…There are many moving pieces, each data point being sourced from a different provider, which can ultimately lead to a lengthy or delayed process.
What has historically been accepted as the process norm does not align with the expectations of the most prominent generation in the home buying market today. Millennials have come to expect rapid, digital workflows in their daily purchase decisions, and in their mind, the home buying process shouldn’t be any different.”
So, where do you go from here?
If you’re pre-approved for a mortgage, that will help speed things up. But the steps it takes and the time to finalize a loan with most traditional lenders may feel like an eternity to you and your generational peers. Don’t worry, though – it’s well worth the wait when you finally get the keys to your new castle!
The financial benefits of homeownership, like increasing your net worth by building equity, and the non-financial benefits, like being able to customize and improve your space, will ultimately set you on the course to happiness, success, overall satisfaction, and much, much more.
If you’re feeling like it’s go-time, let’s get together and get the process moving to determine if homeownership is your next best step.
Many potential homebuyers believe they need a 20% down payment and a 780 FICO® score to qualify to buy a home. This stops many people from even trying to jump into homeownership! Here are some facts to help take the fear out of the process:
- 71% of buyers who purchased homes have put down less than 20%.
- 78.1% of loan applications were approved last month.
- In September, the average credit score for approved loans was 737.